Mr Roche is ready at any time to deliver an expert masterclass on the subject of TEMKEK. Below is a summary from his fine dissertation on the subject, and on this same page you will find some excellent images of where the application of TEMKEK has clearly resulted in complete contentment:




TEMKEK – Treat ‘Em Mean, Keep ‘Em Keen. It is an essential if a

Dedicated cyclist

gentleman is to be afforded the pleasures that

How romantic

are Friday nights out & Saturday Morning bike rides with his pals. Therefore domestic home front disturbances and interference must be kept to a minimum or better still, not tolerated at all. Forget Brownie point-ometers, these are from 1990s and they don’t work. The modern renaissance man must be master of all within his realm.

Try these few short exercises at home:

1. Be the first to the new year’s calendar to ink in those essential rides – every Saturday

From Russia with love?

morning, five to ten overnight rides per annum and, whileyour at it, ink in every Friday as an EPM. You can always delete the dates that aren’t needed (or do as I do and convert these to other lad’s days/nights/both out).

2. Remember every date conceded is a date lost and also lost is your grip on the ‘situation’. However should you ‘hand back’ a day remember that this ranks in magnanimity alongside an audience with the Pope. Therefore the granting of an audience to the home staff on these holy days should be announced with suitable majesty.
A few domestic rules:
3. Remonstrate with female staff members who leave the loo seat down! This is goodTEMKEK maintenance and helps to set and maintain (what is known as) the TEMKEK threshold or datum level.
Transport them in luxury
4. Similarly, towels left neatly folded up on towel rails should not be entertained, we have to
set the male’s expected behaviour threshold at the lowest possible point.
5. Encourage staff to have cycle kit freshly pressed and ready to ride at any time.
6.  Requests for Friday nights out without the lads, Saturday morning shopping / DIY etc should be met with a stunned response and after a short period of moody silence 
Be prepared to assist with transporting a stick or two

(which the other party may if they wish mis-interpret as you giving consideration to such a daring request), should receive a stern

Ensure you have plentiful libatory supplies


Try these few exercises and visit this page regularly to learn more about this excellent science and art form that is the formula for a stable and contented life.